Her Voice September/October
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EDITORIAL She said... Writer banned from using spigot with garden hose This is a story about a spigot with a garden hose attached to it on the south side of our house. I could use it if I really wanted to, but my husband has asked me not to. "Paula, I'm asking you not to use that spigot," he asked emphatically. His judgment dampened my willful spirit of no blame, no shame. You see, last summer he installed a newfangled lever system on the darn thing. Now instead of just turning the handle to the left to turn it on or to the right to turn it off, you first have to move one of the two levers up or down, which way, I am not sure. It is beyond me why we need such a complicated mechanism on something as simple as an outdoor spigot. What used to be the simple task of turning the hose on and off now feels like a 12-step program. However, Brian said he installed the levers because "someone" twisted the handle too far, stripping the inside of the faucet, causing a continuous leak. This summer, when it came time to use that spigot with the garden hose on the south side of the house, Brian found it broken. "Paula, I'm asking you not to use the spigot on the south side of the house. Someone broke it." His request came with an implied blame that I cannot seem to shake. Suddenly, I felt small. "I didn't do it, honestly, I didn't." Really, I have no recall of breaking it. "I have no idea what happened to it. The last time I turned it on, it worked for me." Brian comes by his position honestly. I have a history. Can you say, fix-it delayed? That would be me. My effort to do my own repairs is like Harpo Marx as CEO of Toastmasters. It is not going to happen. More often than not, when I try to fix things without any help, I blow it. "Paula, it's broken, and now I have to fix it." You see, I have a long sorry string of attempts to fix things that ended in disaster. Like one frigid winter morn some years ago when my car would not start, I put antifreeze in the battery, thinking that was the correct place to pour it. Do you know how long it took to get each of those little caps off? Then, there was the time I tried rearranging the dresser mirror and dropped it, shattering all four feet by two feet of it into irreparable shards. That was not a good day for me. Once, after having locked myself out of the house, I broke down the door to get back inside. It is a wonder the neighbors did not call the police. Just this last week, when I tried to unlatch a keepsake watch that my parents gave me for my confirmation, the clasp broke. That is not the end of my list; it is more like the beginning. The rest I seem to have blocked out. I break. Brian fixes. Who broke the spigot? I have no idea. Not me. Not guilty. It's July and the spigot with the garden hose on the south side of the house is fixed. I must admit, I am getting a little fidgety waiting for vindication. On the other hand, I could use the hose on the north side of the house. Yeah, that's the ticket. 2009 Copyright Paula Damon. A resident of Southeast South Dakota, Paula Damon is a national award-winning columnist. Her columns have won first-place in National Federation of Press Women, South Dakota Press Women and Iowa Press Women Communications Contests. In the 2009 South Dakota Press Women Communications Contest, Paula's columns took three first-place awards. To contact Paula, email pauladamon@iw.net, follow her blog at http://mystory-your-story.blogspot.com/ and find her on Facebook. by Paula Damon Our services have expanded. Now offering treatment for both women and men including the following conditions: Urinary & fecal incontinence Post-surgical abdominal pain Conditions related to pregnancy and post partum Pelvic organ prolapse Female and male pelvic pain Digestive & bowel difficulties Tailbone conditions Many other conditions related to the pelvic floor Look no further... Erin Odens, MSPT Call St. Michael s Physical Therapy Department for further information, 605-589-3341 4 HERVOICE SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2009
- St. Michael's Hospital Avera
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EDITORIAL She said... Writer banned from using spigot with garden hose This is a story about a spigot with a garden hose attached to it on the south side of our house. I could use it if I really wanted to, but my husband has asked me not to. "Paula, I'm asking you not to use that spigot," he asked emphatically. His judgment dampened my willful spirit of no blame, no shame. You see, last summer he installed a newfangled lever system on the darn thing. Now instead of just turning the handle to the left to turn it on or to the right to turn it off, you first have to move one of the two levers up or down, which way, I am not sure. It is beyond me why we need such a complicated mechanism on something as simple as an outdoor spigot. What used to be the simple task of turning the hose on and off now feels like a 12-step program. However, Brian said he installed the levers because "someone" twisted the handle too far, stripping the inside of the faucet, causing a continuous leak. This summer, when it came time to use that spigot with the garden hose on the south side of the house, Brian found it broken. "Paula, I'm asking you not to use the spigot on the south side of the house. Someone broke it." His request came with an implied blame that I cannot seem to shake. Suddenly, I felt small. "I didn't do it, honestly, I didn't." Really, I have no recall of breaking it. "I have no idea what happened to it. The last time I turned it on, it worked for me." Brian comes by his position honestly. I have a history. Can you say, fix-it delayed? That would be me. My effort to do my own repairs is like Harpo Marx as CEO of Toastmasters. It is not going to happen. More often than not, when I try to fix things without any help, I blow it. "Paula, it's broken, and now I have to fix it." You see, I have a long sorry string of attempts to fix things that ended in disaster. Like one frigid winter morn some years ago when my car would not start, I put antifreeze in the battery, thinking that was the correct place to pour it. Do you know how long it took to get each of those little caps off? Then, there was the time I tried rearranging the dresser mirror and dropped it, shattering all four feet by two feet of it into irreparable shards. That was not a good day for me. Once, after having locked myself out of the house, I broke down the door to get back inside. It is a wonder the neighbors did not call the police. Just this last week, when I tried to unlatch a keepsake watch that my parents gave me for my confirmation, the clasp broke. That is not the end of my list; it is more like the beginning. The rest I seem to have blocked out. I break. Brian fixes. Who broke the spigot? I have no idea. Not me. Not guilty. It's July and the spigot with the garden hose on the south side of the house is fixed. I must admit, I am getting a little fidgety waiting for vindication. On the other hand, I could use the hose on the north side of the house. Yeah, that's the ticket. 2009 Copyright Paula Damon. A resident of Southeast South Dakota, Paula Damon is a national award-winning columnist. Her columns have won first-place in National Federation of Press Women, South Dakota Press Women and Iowa Press Women Communications Contests. In the 2009 South Dakota Press Women Communications Contest, Paula's columns took three first-place awards. To contact Paula, email pauladamon@iw.net, follow her blog at http://mystory-your-story.blogspot.com/ and find her on Facebook. by Paula Damon Our services have expanded. Now offering treatment for both women and men including the following conditions: Urinary & fecal incontinence Post-surgical abdominal pain Conditions related to pregnancy and post partum Pelvic organ prolapse Female and male pelvic pain Digestive & bowel difficulties Tailbone conditions Many other conditions related to the pelvic floor Look no further... Erin Odens, MSPT Call St. Michael s Physical Therapy Department for further information, 605-589-3341 4 HERVOICE SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2009
