Her Voice September/October
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Hi there, Today is one of those days when I have a huge case of writers block so I have decided to share with you some humorous sayings and jokes that I have collected over time. Nothing risqu , definitely somewhat silly, but should bring a smile to your face and possibly an outright giggle. Here goes The roundest knight at King Arthur s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. Two hands were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, You stay here, I ll go on a-head. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium, at large. Grandma s age: Little Johnny asked his grandma how old she was. Grandma answered, 39 and holding. Johnny thought for a moment, and then said, and how old would you be if you let go? And lastly this little story about a husband and wife at a marriage seminar: While attending a marriage seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor. It is essential that husbands and wives know each other s likes and dislikes. He addressed the man, Can you name your wife s favorite flower? Tom leaned over, touched his wife s arm gently and whispered, It s Pillsbury, isn t it? Have a beautiful fall, Editor and Publisher..................Gary L. Wood Advertising Director...................Micki Schievelbein Composing Manager..................Kathy Larson Special Sections Coordinator.....Heidi Henson Business Manager....................Tonya Schild New Media Manager..................Beth Rye Circulation Director....................David Jeffcoat Advertising Department............. Jeannine Economy, Carol Hohenthaner, Cathy Sudbeck, Jackie Williams bi-monthly by the Advertising Department of the Yankton Daily Press & Dakotan, 319 Walnut, Yankton, SD 57078. 2009 Yankton Media Inc. EDITORIAL CORRESPONDENCE: Contents of the Yankton Daily Press & Dakotan are protected by U.S. copyright laws. All rights reserved. Reproduction or transmittal by any means, including photocopying, is prohibited without written permission of the Yankton Daily Press & Dakotan. The opinions or comments by HerVoice columnists are not necessarily the opinions of this publication or its staff. We encourage letters from our readers. Send us your comments or ideas. SEND TO: Yankton Daily Press & Dakotan c/o Her Voice PO Box 56, Yankton, SD 57078 E-MAIL: kathy.larson@yankton.net or heidi.henson@yankton.net OR log onto www.yankton.net see hervoice ... HERVOICE SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2009 3
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Hi there, Today is one of those days when I have a huge case of writers block so I have decided to share with you some humorous sayings and jokes that I have collected over time. Nothing risqu , definitely somewhat silly, but should bring a smile to your face and possibly an outright giggle. Here goes The roundest knight at King Arthur s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. Two hands were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, You stay here, I ll go on a-head. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium, at large. Grandma s age: Little Johnny asked his grandma how old she was. Grandma answered, 39 and holding. Johnny thought for a moment, and then said, and how old would you be if you let go? And lastly this little story about a husband and wife at a marriage seminar: While attending a marriage seminar dealing with communication, Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor. It is essential that husbands and wives know each other s likes and dislikes. He addressed the man, Can you name your wife s favorite flower? Tom leaned over, touched his wife s arm gently and whispered, It s Pillsbury, isn t it? Have a beautiful fall, Editor and Publisher..................Gary L. Wood Advertising Director...................Micki Schievelbein Composing Manager..................Kathy Larson Special Sections Coordinator.....Heidi Henson Business Manager....................Tonya Schild New Media Manager..................Beth Rye Circulation Director....................David Jeffcoat Advertising Department............. Jeannine Economy, Carol Hohenthaner, Cathy Sudbeck, Jackie Williams bi-monthly by the Advertising Department of the Yankton Daily Press & Dakotan, 319 Walnut, Yankton, SD 57078. 2009 Yankton Media Inc. EDITORIAL CORRESPONDENCE: Contents of the Yankton Daily Press & Dakotan are protected by U.S. copyright laws. All rights reserved. Reproduction or transmittal by any means, including photocopying, is prohibited without written permission of the Yankton Daily Press & Dakotan. The opinions or comments by HerVoice columnists are not necessarily the opinions of this publication or its staff. We encourage letters from our readers. Send us your comments or ideas. SEND TO: Yankton Daily Press & Dakotan c/o Her Voice PO Box 56, Yankton, SD 57078 E-MAIL: kathy.larson@yankton.net or heidi.henson@yankton.net OR log onto www.yankton.net see hervoice ... HERVOICE SEPTEMBER/OCTOBER 2009 3
